Tips For Visiting A loved One

                   A little preparation can remove a lot of pressure

You want to visit your mum,but you know it's going to be difficult, her memory isin't good, and it's difficult to carry a conversation. These tips can make your visits easier on you and more meaningful for your loved one.

 

1. Ask a family member or friend to join you.That will take some of the conversational pressure off you.

2. Plan your visit during a scheduled activity that you both can participate in together.

3. Use your time to help with some daily tasks including:

   - Opening post,help write a letter

   - Dusting family pictures

   - Watering and feeding plants

4. Before a visit, call a family member/friend that lives away and ask questions about what he/she has been doing and relay that information.

5. Ask for advice about an area your loved one has experience(how to fix something, when and where to plant something, best place to go on holiday)

6. Ask about their favorites - food, music, plants, animals, restaurant, recipe, season, sports etc.

7. Plan a short visit, less than an hour, It's not the amount of time that matters, it's the time itself.

 

                                           What Should I Say?  Conversation Starter

 - Tell about a recent accomplishment at work or in your family.

 - Talk about an upcoming trip or special occasion.

 - Reminise about firsts: first day at school.first job,first date,first child,first time away

Remember the visit doesn't have to be filled with conversation,Try just sitting together and quietly enjoying the moment.

 

                                                      Common Frustrations

''When I visit my mum,she asks me the same question over and over.What can I do to satisfy her and not upset myself ?''

What To Do

 - Realize that your mum cannot control her memory problems

 - Do not argue

 - Answer her questions or just ask for detals to move the conversation along

 - Write out the answer in large print and hand it to her. Everytime she asks the question,refer to the card

 

 ''My father is too weak to speak for himself''

  What To Do

 - Ask questions that require a yes/no answer,so he can simply nod or squeeze your hand in reply

 - Bring someone along with you for the visit,your father may simply enjoy listening to the conversation you have with your friend

 - Read to him about current events

 - Play an audio book and listen to it together

 - Bring along a photo album and reminise

 

''My Grandfather is easily confused and doesn't seem to understand what i say.When he speaks to me he sometimes uses words I can't understand and often doesn't remember who I am''

 What To Do

 - When you come to visit say ''Hi granddad, it's...........''

 - Find a quiet place to visit

 - Use simple vocabulary and start sentences, but avoid talking down to him

 - Be patient

 - Ask yes/no questions(''would you like tea?'') or simple choice questions ('''would you like to go for a walk, or watch tv'')

 - When he can't say a word, encourge him to point to or describe the Item

 - Use gestures to help him understand what you are saying

 - If you can't understand what he is saying, make a caring comment such as

  '' It must be frustrating for you''

  '' I wish I could understand what you said''

  '' Let's try again later''

  ''I am glad I can spend time with you''